Sex Appeal

I haven't written a post in awhile I'm sorry. Partially due to my school work and then of course because it takes me quite awhile to think of something to write about. But I think I got something. Going to such an intellectual school, I am constantly surrounded by females who can just dust me in anything related to academics. But partying with them has made me start to realize how important "Sex Appeal" truly is, and how counter-productive dressing super conservative can be. I don't want to say that Jersey girls are better than other girls (that's exactly what I'm saying), but Jersey girls just know how to dress with the perfect amount of class and "Sex Appeal". Don't twist what I'm saying and think that Jersey girls dress like sluts because that is not the case. What I am saying is, that Jersey girls know how to wear clothes that cover everything that needs to be covered, but still has the effect of making me look twice. Everyone knows the phrase "Sex Sells" and it cannot be more true. If you want a guy to approach you...dress sexy. Wear something that shows off all the hours in the gym, curl your hair, wear heels, wear that short dress that you've been talking about. I'm in College, I don't want to look at girls that dress like my mother. I'm going to parties to relax and find a little cutie to talk to. I'm not interested in watching your drunk ass elegantly walk up to me dressed like Hilary Clinton. This is the best shape you're going to be in in your entire life...show it off. Showing off what you got does not make you a slut. Countless times at school I have been asked, "Rob do I look too slutty?" Sometimes I literally just drop my jaw in awe thinking "how can you be too slutty when you're completely covered wearing a dress?" Having "Sex Appeal" is a good...no a great thing. Most of the time its the girls with the most "Sex Appeal" that actually get with the least amount of guys. I want the tease. I want to look at you and be like damn you look really good. You dressing nice doesn't make me think of you as a slut and it shouldn't mean that other girls call you a slut either. A slut is someone who just gets with everyone all the time. Don't be afraid to step in a room and command attention, that's what we want. If you got it, show it.

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Sacrifice 4 for 40

Ok, I know I haven't posted a blog in a very long time but its because I don't like to write things unless its worth reading. Today however I had a revelation.

I have the privilege of having great friends that aren't afraid to call me out whenever I need to be called out, and thankfully some of them did. It has to do with things that don't matter like facebook, instagram, twitter etc. For the longest time I have always believed that the ONLY way people will listen to what you have to say is if you have influence. The main reason I wanted to play D-1 baseball was for the hopes of getting drafted so that eventually one day I could stand up and talk to an audience and make a difference about something more important. Something that could influence the world. And the reason people would listen was because I was a professional athlete with influence. However, I never thought that could be done if I wasn't "popular" enough. Even looking at that word now makes me realize how kiddish and immature that word is. While making connections is great (and I've made a ton with bunch of amazing people) during high school it was a thing I kind of worked for. I wanted to meet as many people as I possibly could, I cared about how many facebook friends I had, how many twitter and instagram followers I had, and blah blah blah. All because the equation in my head went like this: popularity + good advice = influence. You cannot have influence unless people know who you are. I didn't want to die and leave this Earth without leaving a mark on it. I wanted to be remembered and from looking around I thought the only people that were remembered were the popular people that made a difference because of their influence, like Martin Luther King or Elvis. I believed that the only way people take you seriously is if you have some sort of status. For example, question for you... Why are you even reading this blog? What possessed you to click on this random link and read about what I have to say? Why does my opinion have any relevance to what you are doing?  Is it because you heard about me from someone, are we friends, did you stumble across my instagram, facebook? Now you answer that yourself.

Now, I realize, life is not even about that! I've kind of grown up and realized what actually matters and what actually matters is being yourself. By chilling out and not trying as hard you become more attractive because you are more confident within yourself. Although I've always been confident in myself, I also needed the validation from other people around me. But now the validation is coming from within and its a more pure form of confidence. One that relies only on me. And one that is not tainted with the opinion of others. While all the stuff I said up there does help in certain aspects because half of you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't know or know of me, its a relief being able to just say who cares. Who cares how many facebook friends you have. Who cares how many likes you get on your instagram picture. At the end of the day those material things are MEANINGLESS.

I'm fortunate enough to attend one of the best schools in the country, an opportunity that barely anyone gets. To throw it away over some bullshit would be a disgrace to everyone who helped me get here. To not fully appreciate everyday and not work my ass off would be discrediting all the hard work I've put in. In class, its not about the "grade" you get. Having a good GPA is important but what professors actually want you to do is LEARN! Take what you're taught and use it in the outside world. Its not about the grade. In a couple years that won't matter. What does matter is how much you learn and soak up. Be a sponge, be attentive, and be present. The most important message I have out of all this, the most mature message I can say is: "Fall in love with the grind." Today I fell in love with the grind. Fall in love with working your ass off so you get a great job out of college. Fall in love with finishing your paper two days early just so you know you have enough time to make a better draft. Fall in love with late nights, fall in love with uncomfortable beds, and with shitty cafeteria food. Don't worry about how hard you're going to party (by all means have your fun, I definitely do) but don't make that the priority. You're life isn't about college. Don't concentrate on 4 years concentrate on 40 years. Put yourself into a much broader perspective. That's the mentality I have. Sacrifice 4 to live the next 40 however you want. In 10 years are you ever going to remember who you got with at that one party? No you're not. In these 4 years do something that sets you up to have the option to do whatever you want to do in 10 years. If you want to take a vacation DO IT! If you want to buy shoes, clothes, cars...whatever THEN do it. Set yourself up to have enough money to go to REAL PARTIES....not cramped, sweaty, drunken college ones, but real clubs and events where you have money to spend instead of living pay check by pay check. We are 4 years away from the rest of our lives. That's what growing up has taught me. Fall in love with the grind.

How To Text A Guy That You Don't Want To Talk Too

          This blog post tonight is the guide on how to properly text a guy that you do not want to talk too. Too many times I'm with girls that say "This guy does not stop texting me" and then proceed to answer back the text message.  Even I have been the annoying guy who'll text two or three times to a girl who obviously isn't interested just because I want to talk to them. I'm not insecure to admit it. Well what are the key things to do to stop having annoying guys like me continue to text you.

          The ONLY thing you have to do when a guy texts you that you aren't interested in is "Sorry, I'm not interested". That would solve everything! All the time girls answer texts to guys that they don't want to talk too because they respond with "I just one word him". That's not good enough! Answering back gives a guy hope. Answering him back makes him think that there is still a chance. If he said "babe" in that text message and you still answered that means that you acknowledge that you were called "babe" and didn't say anything about it. You just made it seem acceptable (to that guy) that it is ok to call you "babe". Don't do it and save both of us time. I'll speak for me personally, but I'd much rather have a girl straight up say "Sorry I'm not interested in you" or "Don't bother texting me" instead of answering me back with boring texts messages. If you could just text me that text message then I wouldn't have to waste my time even thinking to text you again and move on to bigger, brighter, and bustier things. And I'm sure other guys are the same way. Guys are by no means stupid, but we're not the type of being to sit there and try to read into signs from girls. Like girls think that 'one wording him' is going to tell him to stop texting you....NO IT ISN'T! If you want him to stop texting you then literally say it, its not being mean, its saving both of your times in the future. Granted some guys can take the hint, but the creeps that you complain about texting you obviously don't. And even I have most likely also been the guy where the girl turns to her friends and is like "Why does he keep texting me? I don't want to talk to him". Just save both of our times and end it from the very beginning. That is how you make him stop.

Hanging With The Right Group Of Friends

*Disclaimer* This post may cause you to re-evaluate your relationships and may cause the loss of friends.

          Alright guys, this post isn't going to be don't hang out with people that drink, have sex, or do drugs because honestly no one is going to listen to that. Society loves drinking, loves having sex, and loves recreational drugs. This is proven with the minimal success that you're teachers have had blabbering the "don't have sex, don't smoke weed, don't drink alcohol" speech that everyone is told. How many of those have you done! Exactly. Instead, this is going to be about surrounding yourself with people who do three things. One, want you to be the best you. Two, have you in their best interest. And three, do not put you in uncomfortable situations.

          First, surround yourself with people that want you to be the best possible "you" that you can be. Hanging out with people that try to bring you down is only going to hold you back from life. People who are average like to see other people stay average. I define "average" as your "run of the mill" type of person. Someone who enjoys the status quo, does not push themselves for more, and lacks sufficient motivation to better themselves.  Once you try to break free from "average" and become successful, "average" people want to pull you back down. When you're average NO ONE bothers you. No one makes fun of you because no one cares enough and you're not a threat. Once you start to accomplish something, average people attempt to bring you back down to their level. When you want better, they are reminded that they are average. Don't let them do it! Hang out with people who want to be successful, and you in turn will be successful. Hang out with people who have the same mindset as you do. Do not waste your time with people who are afraid of doing something worth while. Of course you can choose not listen to this advice and stay average, but that is your own decision. I heard average people have pretty sweet bank accounts.

         Second, surround yourself with people who have you in their best interest. I know that my best buds would literally take a bullet for me, just like I would for them. Find people that would risk their own well-being for you! If you hang out with someone all the time and you look at them and think, if someone came to rob me would they run away or stand to fight. If they would run away you don't need them! I know that if I got into a fight my friends would have my back. I don't surround myself with people who don't put me first. True friendship is putting others before yourself, "good company" is others putting you first only when it is convenient.

          Lastly, do not hang out with people that put you into uncomfortable situations. Good friends do not peer pressure you into doing things that you do not want to do. They respect your decision. That goes for anything! Not just the typical drugs and alcohol. That could go for dressing a certain way, talking a certain way, or behaving a certain way. If you're "friends" constantly peer pressure you into doing things that you do not want to do, they are not your real friends and could honestly give two shits about you. I can count my real friends on one hand. A friend is someone who put you up, not brings you down, who respects your decisions, and someone who wants your well being before their own good health.

Flirting While Taken

         What is it that makes it so attractive to get with someone who has a significant other? What is so enticing in being the "side" person? Why do we all do it? These are the questions I've asked myself over the last ten days since I wrote my last blog. I didn't want to write something without fully contemplating all aspects of the questions. In my personal findings, I concluded that the reason why people get with men or women who have boyfriends or girlfriends is due to a subconscious insecurity embedded within each person. Now let me explain.

          As you read, intrinsically look within yourself to try and connect to an instance of when someone you were talking to had a boyfriend or girlfriend and they then became much more attractive. What is it about the chase? Some people I talked to about the topic said that they liked the chase because of the challenge. You know the challenge of pulling something off and the difficulty and sense of fulfillment after accomplishing it. However, when I looked deeper into the topic I realized that yes the challenge is appealing, but the need to accomplish the challenge stems from an innate insecurity that we all have on "being good enough". When people hookup with others who are in a relationship their sense of "I'm better than that person. I'm worth it. People care about me" tends to rise. The thrill doesn't originate from the challenge, the thrill germinates from an instinctive aspect of our humanity that wants to prove our worth. Therefore, by completing tasks that prove our worth, our sense of being and confidence sky rocket.

          
          Think about a time in your life when you completed anything noteworthy: a great grade on your report card, you were hired a job, helped the homeless, participated in a charity, etc. Think about how you felt after accomplishing one of those things. You're sense of worth was heightened, which in turn made you feel "worth it". All those acts boost our sense of self that is in constant contention with our embedded insecurity. For one to say, "I am not insecure, I'm confident in myself, I don't care what anyone thinks" alludes to the thought that the only reason you are trying to prove that you are confident is because you are insecure about your confidence in the first place! If you really were so confident IN YOURSELF (not in your actions because many people are confident in their actions) then you would not be trying to prove that confidence. So in the culmination to my point, you're insecurity is always present because even if you are trying to prove the complete opposite of insecurity...."confidence", you are still entertaining the idea of "insecurity".

          In conclusion, when intensively scrutinizing this subject I realized that the reason that hooking up with someone entices the masses is because we all want to prove that we are better than someone else. We all want to convince ourselves that we do in fact mean something to someone in this world. It is the sense of self that truly sparks the incentive to attempt getting with someone who already has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

When He's Stringing You Along

          This post may ruin some relationships, but I'm going to shed some light on a very sensitive subject. I'm going to answer the popular question of "is he stringing me along?!." 

Well ladies, to be completely honest, most of you ALREADY know deep down that you're getting strung along and you're the second option but choose not to listen to your heart due to a false hope that maybe you'll become his number 1. It's weird to think that we want people we can't have, but when people show a lack of interested in us it makes us want to say, "HERE I AM! NOTICE ME!!" 

IF IT FEELS KINDA YUCKY ... ITS NOT WORTH IT TRUST ME! 

Guys are hunters and if they want you trust me you will know simple as that. Take it from me .. ex-player now tied down I know ALL the ins and outs of male psyche. 

Naturally it is in our nature to go after things that we want. It makes sense, contemplate any time in your life you genuinely knew a guy wanted you. How did he text you? How often? What type of effort did he put in? For whatever reason we reject this kindness because we feel like we already "conquered" the person. I use the word conquered because we feel like we already have that person so there's no need to try as hard anymore. Thus, if you find yourself being the "conquered" where you're putting in most of the effort, keep this in mind to see if he is even worth your time.

            Here are some key signs that you're not first in his mind and you're basically a second option. 

One, if he tells you that he'll "text you later" and never does, then he's got better things to do. 

If you ask him to hang out and he's always busy, then he's filling up his time with someone else. 

If you go out of your way to make the effort and he chooses to pick something or someone else over you, then its time to move on.

 No matter how hard it may be, you need to move on to someone else because you are being taken for granted. Guys work in weird ways. We like the girls that are hard to get opposed to the ones that really care for us. We like the "bitches" who are snobby because we chalk them up as a statistic. When you bag a snobby bitch it feels like an accomplishment because she is mean and you got through it!

Sounds so shallow but its true. We neglect the beautifully genuine girls because we think with our "head" opposed to our head. It's not fair, it's not nice, and it hurts a lot of people. 

Although I understand how it may suck for some of you, quite frankly, ladies are the same way. They neglect the genuine "nice guy" over the "douche bag". Girls are the WORST when it comes to the "I'm sorry I wasn't by my phone all day", "I'm actually going out with my girls tn", "I wish you asked me earlier! I just made plans", and my favorite "I really wish, but my third cousin brother's girlfriend friend is graduating and I said I'd go" texts. 

Both sexes exhibit the same lack of urgency that determines if someone is stringing you along. But alas, this blog must continue so you have the ability to realize that YOU ARE A SIDE PIECE. 

If the guy you are talking to doesn't text you first, never asks you to hang during the day (at night doesn't count), doesn't follow through with his "I'll text you later", or is constantly "with his friends", then to him you are not important enough to leave his friends. If the guy actually wants you I promise that he will show it. 

He will make it very clear of his intentions early on. 

Guys compartmentalize women into mostly three categories - girls that are just sex, girls that I want to try and have sex with, girls that are just friends or I am friend zoned and cannot have sex with. 

LADIES ONCE YOU ARE COMPARTMENTALIZED IT IS EXTREMELY SO VERY VERY VERY HARD TO SWITCH COMPARTMENTS.

He will treat you how YOU SET THE STANDARD TO BE TREATED!!

Fuck on the first date or too early on and you risk being compartmentalized as a girl that you can have casual sex with and no relationship. TRUST ME ... MOST OF THE EARLY SEX DOES NOT LEAD TO A RELATIONSHIP ... unless there's just natural emotional chemistry as well as the physical.

The way to counteract being strung along is to create the illusion that you are too busy yourself! Instead of always being available, play around a bit. Answer texts later, still hang out but make it more of a process where its like "Oh yeah I could possibly hang out, I have to see". 

LET THE BALL BE IN HIS COURT!

Then you will absolutely know what the fuck is good.

Put the ball in his court and basically have the attitude, "If you really want me, you'll put the effort in". 

While it may suck at first because no one is talking to you its worth it. You'll weed out the guys who aren't willing to put  in the effort and you'll be left with guys that genuinely care. 

While this isn't the "cool" thing to do, I guarantee it'll make you much more happy because you'll be around guys that appreciate you for you and treat you the way you should be treated. 

There's a ton of jerkoffs out there who are disgustingly disrespectful BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO YOU ARE IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR! 

You just have to find them. 

There are guys out there that appreciate the little things, there are guys out there that call you for no reason, there are guys out there that will drive out of their way to see you no matter what it takes. 

There is still hope, trust me. 

You need to stop wasting your time with the dick heads, you need to stop downgrading yourself, and you need to realize that to someone you're worth it. 

I've said this to a whole bunch of my girl friends who have talked to me about guy problems and they are absolutely amazing,kind-hearted girls and I tell them, right now may not be your time. But when all those guys are looking for girls to marry, they are going to leave the "right now" girls and come to you. 

It's an unfortunate way of life, but to someone you're worth it and believing it whole heartedly yourself is the only way for others to believe it and treat you that way.

P.S. 

I'm going to be doing some MAJOR edits to this blog and transitioning into a success, motivational, lifestyle blog that will inspire others to become the best version of themselves and destroy limiting beliefs preventing them from accomplishing their dreams. 

GIVE ME OPINIONS ON SOME THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO READ AND COMMENT BELOW!!! 

I love my readers and THIS IS A BLOG FOR THE PEOPLE, POWERED BY THE PEOPLE! Thanks for your participation it is truly appreciated to hear your voice.

- Rob

Super Sluts in Today's Society

          What is a "slut"? Everyday you hear someone call a girl a "slut". Words like this can be very deteriorating to someone's self-esteem, especially if it's undeserving. Personally, I am not one to judge but I have always been intrigued by the concept of what one person views as slut, another views as conservative. I have heard of girls who have been called sluts, yet have only slept with two guys. If we can all agree that two people is not a significant amount then what is it that urges people to call others such a derogatory name. I have also heard a girl be called a slut THE DAY after she lost her virginity.....what? Exactly. That doesn't make much sense. Where is it that this stems from? Jealousy?

          Girls can be the most judgmental, conniving people. Seriously, it is scary how much damage some girls are capable to do to others. Luckily, this kind of emotional, mental warfare usually stays separate from the sexes and I have been fortunate enough not to deal with this kind of opposition. Although I do not throw the term around, I view a "slut" as a girl that gets with two or three guys in a night and does it on a pretty consistent basis. I do not know too many girls who are like that, therefore I do not usually use the term often. However, some people have much looser terms and conditions for what deems a girl a "slut". I have always thought of a slut like this

          Before I end this blog think about this. In the 1920s the town "slut" was the girl that went to the beach with  a bikini on, nowadays the girl on the beach without a bikini on is the outcast. 

          This concept brings up this thought. Does the changing of the times bring along the change of society's view of the promiscuous? In a generation driven by sex do you think that it's possible that the woman you view as a slut now, in 15 years could be viewed as extremely conservative?

Sense of Entitlement Felt by Attractive Women

          Ok. We all know them. We have all dealt with their arrogant, materialistic ways. We have all been made to feel less than what we are worth. You know who I’m talking about. The girls who are extremely good-looking and because of their looks they feel like they have a sense of entitlement to treat others poorly.

In today’s society looks are so important. It’s a sad thought, but it is definitely true. How often do you see good-looking people, especially girls, get away with things that others cannot? Looks dominant the social spectrum because society is always trying to be skinnier, healthier, more muscular, more tan, or more toned. Some girls, in my opinion, take appearance to the next level and become so egotistical with their "beauty" that a sense of entitlement tends to arise. These girls can easily be pointed out as the ones that are too good for the party and are standing in the corner looking like they are having a terrible time. Pause...how many different girls that you know just came to mind? To those girls all I have to say is LEAVE. You're making everyone around you uncomfortable and sorry to break it to you, you're hot but not that hot.

 Being a guy, getting rejected or being told the “Sorry I have a boyfriend” happens a lot. I’m not too strung up on myself to say that I have never been rejected because honestly I have. Usually it doesn’t phase me, but I cannot stand rejection when it comes with the smug*why are you talking to me* look that some girls give. Guys especially know the look I’m talking about. It’s the over the shoulder, terrible body language smirk and then the look over to her friends like "What is this guy doing?" and they all smile and giggle at you with the *what are you doing here* look. I HATE THAT! Like honestly, who are you that you think you are too good just to talk? Are you so high and mighty that you are too good for simple conversation just for the intent of conversation? Personally, I don’t care if a girl walks up to me that weighs 250 lbs and looks like she just beat herself in the face, I’m still going to talk to her and make her feel like she’s worth it. I don’t know if that’s just me, but I’ve always been taught treat others the way I would want to be treated. 

           Some girls do not realize that no one wants to put up with that kind of ego! Like yeah cool, you have 200 likes on your facebook profile picture, but when it comes down to it, what are people going to say about you when your name is brought up. Is it going to be good? Is it going to be something you are proud of? Are they going to say, "Yeah, so and so is so sweet to everyone, oh and she's really good-looking too" or is it going to be the more common "Yeah that girl is really hot.....but she thinks she's too good for everyone". Where is that going to get you in life?! The most attractive girls are the ones with looks and personality. I hate to be reality, but to be honest guys aren't talking to you after you embarrassed them just because of your looks, guys continue to talk to you JUST because they want to add you as a statistic and tell their friends that they got past your egotistic wall. The girls that are truly respected are the ones who make others feel like they are worth it. Those are the girls that have a conversation with you just to be your friend. Those are the girls that will get far in life, and those are the girls guys want to be around. 

Inside the Male Perspective, Looks vs. Personality

          Girls, you have all wondered it and I am here to tell you raw, uncut, and brutally honest about what actually goes through the male perspective when it comes to looks vs. personality when judging a friend, a friend with benefits, or a potential girlfriend. This may be a little longer than usual but it tells you EVERYTHING! Which is more important? Which do guys prefer? All looks? Just personality? I will explain everything.

          We'll start at just being a friend. This post will be three paragraphs long describing the circumstances with each. Ok back to the topic at hand. When judging a girl "friend" a guy thinks through a series of questions. One, how hot are her friends and who could she hook me up with? Two, am I going to be able to trust this girl enough with what I tell her about the girls I do stuff with? Three,  is she going to tell the world how many girls I talk to or who I got with last weekend? Four, does she have my best interest in mind? Yes ladies, sorry to break it to you but at a young age (18-23) guys are SHALLOW at first. Realize I'm saying at first here. Beautiful long term friendships are built between the opposite sexes, but the majority of the time it is because of a trust built up pertaining to the recently stated questions. Again back to my thought process... We guys know most likely that right now we're not going to meet the girl who we're going to marry so we want to have a good time. We want a girl that is going to HELP US BENEFIT in that "good time". Yes there is a double standard its true, guys are allowed to get with much more people than woman, is that fair I don't know, am I going to deny it, no, but thats just how it is I don't make the rules. So when you catch the guy you like telling you about every other girl he's talking too you are FRIEND ZONE 100%. A guys biggest secret is the girls he is currently texting. If he is sharing that with you, that is a big deal. As a friend personality is much much greater than looks. A guy needs to be able to have fun with you, talk, laugh, and hang with you AND his friends at the same time. Realize for a moment, the girls with the best personalities have the most guy "friends", the girls with just the looks have the most guys texting them.

          Which leads me to my next point. Friends with benefits. I have a whole bunch to comment on about this topic so bear with me, it's important. When judging a potential "friend with benefits" a guy contemplates these questions. Is she hot enough to hook up with? What will other people think? Is she cool with me getting with other girls? AND does she have qualities of a friend, but then when the time comes is also willing to do stuff? Now, ladies towards the younger age most guys are looking for a friend with benefits. Friends with benefits is completely fine and it can be fun. No worries, no drama. But that is only if she has a good personality to go along with her looks. Looks vs. personality is key here. The girls with just the looks are ALWAYS going to stay with JUST the looks. They lack personality and are uncomfortable to be around. Those girls are the entitled ones. Some girls are so stupid, in my opinion, and fail to realize what some guys are actually doing. For example, when a girl is being a total bitch to a guy and tells her friends about him and goes "he doesn't stop texting me, he's obsessed, he's so annoying, blah blah blah" she fails to realize that the majority of the time that girl is just a STATISTIC! She doesn't realize that behind the scenes all the guys know their friend is just trying to hit it. She doesn't realize that her being bitchy just makes it so much sweeter when you STILL get with him after you trashed talked him for weeks. To me, that's the entitled bitchy girls who are so strung up on themselves that they don't even see that they are getting played. Because of their own mind games they fail to realize most guys are smarter than they appear and have games of their own. He's not constantly texting you to be your boyfriend, he's trying to have bragging rights. That's as shallow as it gets but its true. That is the low side of a "friend with benefits". Most of the time they are uncomplicated and stress free, but usually they do not go anywhere. Once a guy thinks of you as "just a good time" its extremely difficult to move to "worth the wait". Having a friend with benefits that has both a combination of looks and personality is girlfriend material.

          To be honest, when you first start talking to a guy EVERY girl, unless he is not attracted to you in any way, shape or form, is a potential "friend with benefits". The combination of both is what leads into a relationship. At first the guy wants to test out the waters a bit and see what type of girl you are. Are you just a friend, are you prude, are you psycho or controlling, etc... but whatever it is they will place you into one of the three categories: friends, friend with benefits, and girlfriend material. Girls are the same way, so don't get offended like "Oh my God guys are so shallow". Girls categorize guys more harshly than guys categorize girls. In girls eyes there are like 100 different things guys fall into. Do I hook up with him every weekend? Or every other weekend? Text him every day or every other day? When I'm bored do I call him? Who's my sit down for coffee guy? Who's my booty call guy? Who's my just a friend guy? Who's my gay friend guy? Who's my going shopping guy? Who's my I need a ride home guy? Who's the guy I run up to in the party and make the biggest deal ever that you're seeing him when you saw him three days ago guy? I could list forever, so lets stop judging us when we only have THREE whole categories. Again back to describing girlfriends. If you look at most couples that are the "wow they are still together couples" the girl is super super cool and she is also attractive. Not necessarily the most attractive, however that does happen, but she is attractive enough where people are jealous of the relationship. She is the girl that hangs out with the guys, does not have too much drama, is not high maintenance, and has her boyfriends best interest before hers. To those girls I salute you, you're awesome. You are the girls that are going to have a happy marriage and any guy who mistreats you is STUPID and TOTALLY missed out! Don't change to be the girl that's just "looks" because all the guys want her. They want her for the wrong reasons. When its time to settle down the "just looks", pompous, self-entitled girls are the ones wishing to be the "married" women. That's right, women. Having the combination of both makes you a woman in my eyes. And to clarify so people don't get the wrong idea. "Looks" and attractiveness come from the eye of the beholder. What I think is attractive, others may not. When I say just "looks" I mean that the guys who talk to you are only interested in you for your physical appearance that entices them. There is not one mold of "looks" there are many.