Flirting While Taken

         What is it that makes it so attractive to get with someone who has a significant other? What is so enticing in being the "side" person? Why do we all do it? These are the questions I've asked myself over the last ten days since I wrote my last blog. I didn't want to write something without fully contemplating all aspects of the questions. In my personal findings, I concluded that the reason why people get with men or women who have boyfriends or girlfriends is due to a subconscious insecurity embedded within each person. Now let me explain.

          As you read, intrinsically look within yourself to try and connect to an instance of when someone you were talking to had a boyfriend or girlfriend and they then became much more attractive. What is it about the chase? Some people I talked to about the topic said that they liked the chase because of the challenge. You know the challenge of pulling something off and the difficulty and sense of fulfillment after accomplishing it. However, when I looked deeper into the topic I realized that yes the challenge is appealing, but the need to accomplish the challenge stems from an innate insecurity that we all have on "being good enough". When people hookup with others who are in a relationship their sense of "I'm better than that person. I'm worth it. People care about me" tends to rise. The thrill doesn't originate from the challenge, the thrill germinates from an instinctive aspect of our humanity that wants to prove our worth. Therefore, by completing tasks that prove our worth, our sense of being and confidence sky rocket.

          
          Think about a time in your life when you completed anything noteworthy: a great grade on your report card, you were hired a job, helped the homeless, participated in a charity, etc. Think about how you felt after accomplishing one of those things. You're sense of worth was heightened, which in turn made you feel "worth it". All those acts boost our sense of self that is in constant contention with our embedded insecurity. For one to say, "I am not insecure, I'm confident in myself, I don't care what anyone thinks" alludes to the thought that the only reason you are trying to prove that you are confident is because you are insecure about your confidence in the first place! If you really were so confident IN YOURSELF (not in your actions because many people are confident in their actions) then you would not be trying to prove that confidence. So in the culmination to my point, you're insecurity is always present because even if you are trying to prove the complete opposite of insecurity...."confidence", you are still entertaining the idea of "insecurity".

          In conclusion, when intensively scrutinizing this subject I realized that the reason that hooking up with someone entices the masses is because we all want to prove that we are better than someone else. We all want to convince ourselves that we do in fact mean something to someone in this world. It is the sense of self that truly sparks the incentive to attempt getting with someone who already has a boyfriend or girlfriend.