Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Inside the Male Perspective, Looks vs. Personality

          Girls, you have all wondered it and I am here to tell you raw, uncut, and brutally honest about what actually goes through the male perspective when it comes to looks vs. personality when judging a friend, a friend with benefits, or a potential girlfriend. This may be a little longer than usual but it tells you EVERYTHING! Which is more important? Which do guys prefer? All looks? Just personality? I will explain everything.


          We'll start at just being a friend. This post will be three paragraphs long describing the circumstances with each. Ok back to the topic at hand. When judging a girl "friend" a guy thinks through a series of questions. One, how hot are her friends and who could she hook me up with? Two, am I going to be able to trust this girl enough with what I tell her about the girls I do stuff with? Three,  is she going to tell the world how many girls I talk to or who I got with last weekend? Four, does she have my best interest in mind? Yes ladies, sorry to break it to you but at a young age (18-23) guys are SHALLOW at first. Realize I'm saying at first here. Beautiful long term friendships are built between the opposite sexes, but the majority of the time it is because of a trust built up pertaining to the recently stated questions. Again back to my thought process... We guys know most likely that right now we're not going to meet the girl who we're going to marry so we want to have a good time. We want a girl that is going to HELP US BENEFIT in that "good time". Yes there is a double standard its true, guys are allowed to get with much more people than woman, is that fair I don't know, am I going to deny it, no, but thats just how it is I don't make the rules. So when you catch the guy you like telling you about every other girl he's talking too you are FRIEND ZONE 100%. A guys biggest secret is the girls he is currently texting. If he is sharing that with you, that is a big deal. As a friend personality is much much greater than looks. A guy needs to be able to have fun with you, talk, laugh, and hang with you AND his friends at the same time. Realize for a moment, the girls with the best personalities have the most guy "friends", the girls with just the looks have the most guys texting them.



          Which leads me to my next point. Friends with benefits. I have a whole bunch to comment on about this topic so bear with me, it's important. When judging a potential "friend with benefits" a guy contemplates these questions. Is she hot enough to hook up with? What will other people think? Is she cool with me getting with other girls? AND does she have qualities of a friend, but then when the time comes is also willing to do stuff? Now, ladies towards the younger age most guys are looking for a friend with benefits. Friends with benefits is completely fine and it can be fun. No worries, no drama. But that is only if she has a good personality to go along with her looks. Looks vs. personality is key here. The girls with just the looks are ALWAYS going to stay with JUST the looks. They lack personality and are uncomfortable to be around. Those girls are the entitled ones. Some girls are so stupid, in my opinion, and fail to realize what some guys are actually doing. For example, when a girl is being a total bitch to a guy and tells her friends about him and goes "he doesn't stop texting me, he's obsessed, he's so annoying, blah blah blah" she fails to realize that the majority of the time that girl is just a STATISTIC! She doesn't realize that behind the scenes all the guys know their friend is just trying to hit it. She doesn't realize that her being bitchy just makes it so much sweeter when you STILL get with him after you trashed talked him for weeks. To me, that's the entitled bitchy girls who are so strung up on themselves that they don't even see that they are getting played. Because of their own mind games they fail to realize most guys are smarter than they appear and have games of their own. He's not constantly texting you to be your boyfriend, he's trying to have bragging rights. That's as shallow as it gets but its true. That is the low side of a "friend with benefits". Most of the time they are uncomplicated and stress free, but usually they do not go anywhere. Once a guy thinks of you as "just a good time" its extremely difficult to move to "worth the wait". Having a friend with benefits that has both a combination of looks and personality is girlfriend material.








          To be honest, when you first start talking to a guy EVERY girl, unless he is not attracted to you in any way, shape or form, is a potential "friend with benefits". The combination of both is what leads into a relationship. At first the guy wants to test out the waters a bit and see what type of girl you are. Are you just a friend, are you prude, are you psycho or controlling, etc... but whatever it is they will place you into one of the three categories: friends, friend with benefits, and girlfriend material. Girls are the same way, so don't get offended like "Oh my God guys are so shallow". Girls categorize guys more harshly than guys categorize girls. In girls eyes there are like 100 different things guys fall into. Do I hook up with him every weekend? Or every other weekend? Text him every day or every other day? When I'm bored do I call him? Who's my sit down for coffee guy? Who's my booty call guy? Who's my just a friend guy? Who's my gay friend guy? Who's my going shopping guy? Who's my I need a ride home guy? Who's the guy I run up to in the party and make the biggest deal ever that you're seeing him when you saw him three days ago guy? I could list forever, so lets stop judging us when we only have THREE whole categories. Again back to describing girlfriends. If you look at most couples that are the "wow they are still together couples" the girl is super super cool and she is also attractive. Not necessarily the most attractive, however that does happen, but she is attractive enough where people are jealous of the relationship. She is the girl that hangs out with the guys, does not have too much drama, is not high maintenance, and has her boyfriends best interest before hers. To those girls I salute you, you're awesome. You are the girls that are going to have a happy marriage and any guy who mistreats you is STUPID and TOTALLY missed out! Don't change to be the girl that's just "looks" because all the guys want her. They want her for the wrong reasons. When its time to settle down the "just looks", pompous, self-entitled girls are the ones wishing to be the "married" women. That's right, women. Having the combination of both makes you a woman in my eyes. And to clarify so people don't get the wrong idea. "Looks" and attractiveness come from the eye of the beholder. What I think is attractive, others may not. When I say just "looks" I mean that the guys who talk to you are only interested in you for your physical appearance that entices them. There is not one mold of "looks" there are many.


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